Book Review: Emotional Abuse: Silent Killer of Marriage – A 30-Year Abuser Speaks Out

Austin James



Abuse was the enemy that plagued me for over two-thirds of my life,
but through great sorrow, the ability came to me to transform myself
from the ashes of defeat to a type of cleansing and healing that not
only renews the spirit, but also allows it to soar to new heights.
me on the most amazing journeys of my life, walk with me through
self-discovery, healing, and know there is hope for recovery.
currently live in the Midwest and enjoy a quiet, abuse-free life,
serving the Lord and helping men and women discover the truth about
emotional abuse and ways to overcome it. I enjoy hiking, backpacking,
reading, and for the first time in my life, inner-peace.

Burrow inside an emotional abuser’s head and find out why I…


  • am so charming one minute and a raging manic the next
  • blame you for everything
  • must stay in control all the time
  • belittle your feelings, opinions, or your accomplishments
  • try to punish you
  • never seem to support you
  • cut you down in front of friends and family
  • can’t stop my behavior even if I wanted to
  • cause you to walk on eggshells around me
  • am angry so much of the time
  • don’t provide your emotional needs
  • can’t admit when I am wrong
  • expect so much of you
  • can’t accept the word No


on a revealing, first hand journey with a man, husband, and father who
spent 33-years locked in the prison of emotional abuse, as it destroyed
his 24-year marriage and crippled the woman and children he loves, and
experience an awakening that hurled him through a nightmarish journey to
the most inner core of his soul.Discover what he learned during
five years of recovery as he put his emotionally destructive lifestyle
behind him, and later, discovered that the horrors of his 33-year
abusive life stemmed from events that happened as a teenager, following
the unexpected death of his father.

If you have a dysfunctional relationship or marriage, discover:

  • The motivations behind the abusive behavior
  • Whether there is hope for the relationship or if it is time to get out
  • Practical tips to heal should your spouse commit to get help
trapped in a manipulative, controlling relationship full of anger,
yelling, and arguments, yet who yearns to have a relationship and
marriage full of love, emotional intimacy, and trust will gain insight
and practical knowledge and guidance from this book.Answer the questions:

  • What role childhood plays in an abuser’s life
  • How does a too-close relationship with mom affect a husband
  • What is the ‘payoff’ to abuse in marriage
  • Codependency and the role of the rescuer
  • What type of counseling won’t work and which is best
  • How to know if it’s time to leave the relationship
  • How to tell if your mate is really changing
  • What is the Dr. Jekyll / Mr. Hyde personality
  • What role anger plays in the abuse inflicted on others
  • What is Arrested Development and what role does it play
  • Root causes of abuse
you recognize even some of these traits within yourself, or someone you
love, you owe it to you and to all those around you, your spouse,
children, family, friends, and coworkers to read this book. 


I may be bias in my review but not because I know the author or have any connection to them. But because I lived through the stories he tells. Well some of them. I was in the position of his wife Teri. My husband had been abusive to me emotionally while we were dating and then it grew as we got married until I finally walked away. I took very little to nothing from our well decorated and furnished apartment. I had to do this at a time that he had been placed in a facility for mental illness. It was the only way I got out without him talking  me back in. I even had to threaten to get a restraining order to have him leave me alone. I finally got my divorce. This book reminds me of what I went through but it gives me hope that people like that can see the error of their ways. It also proves that sometimes you just have to have faith in something to show you the path to freedom. This was a wonderfully written book of personal experience pumped full of emotional and psychological experiences on the journey between being the dominate and being the cooperative.


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